-freeware murder simulator for the masses

Apr 17, 2012

Cool Story Bro Time

I figured that since the original wolf3d had a story, vxlst3d ought to have one as well ;)

id $oftware:
1: Create FPS game with generic wwII story.
2: Profit from tragedy.
$$$ $$$


V O X E L S T E I N  3 D 
official story: WARNING: Contains crude/offensive/lulzy jokes about Jews, please use discretion/common sense, story not meant to be taken seriously in any way shape or form.


In 1933, Germany had established itself as a super power, leading the way in technology, from the invention of synthetic oil fuel to the creation of long-distance V3 rockets, jet fighters and UFOs.

Technological advancements by Nazi-Germany, 1933

In 1939, a full blown AIDS epidemic was discovered in the jewish and gay communities in Europe.
1939: AIDS epidemic discovered in GAY BARS and in jewish communities

To prevent a global pandemic, it was decided that the jews and gays were to be deported to ghettos and confinement camps.
Wannsee Conference: A Final Solution to the AIDS Crisis.

The reason AIDS was almost exclusively and predominantly associated to jews and gays, was simple: gays have lots of gay unprotected sex,

 and the jews circumcise each other: immediately after attacking the baby penis with a blunt kitchen knife, the Rabbi starts to give the baby penis a horny wet blowjob, thus transmitting the AIDS virus.

Rabbi after having transmitted the AIDS virus.
If the nazis had not deported the jews and gays, there would be a much bigger problem, a global AIDS pandemic, and with no cure in sight, the number of deaths would be many many many order of magnitudes higher than the 6 million AIDS deaths in WWII.

But jews and gays were not the only people deported: a small innocent group of people, the internet trolls living in their mothers' basements, were also targeted and deported as well.


The deportation of the trolls happened shortly after Nazi-Germany's industrialized propaganda machine "Fox News Channel" had launched a massive propaganda campaign against the defenseless internet trolls, labeling them as domestic terrorists, sexual predators and even carriers of the AIDS virus despite the fact that internet trolls don't have any AIDS because they all live in their mothers' basements and are all virgins. 
Nazi-Germany's Industrialized Murder Propaganda machine "Fox News Channel"
 The two IRL trolls, Churchill and Roosevelt, who both took great pleasure from firebombing civilian cities, sympathized greatly with the persecuted internet trolls. One day Churchill came running into Roosevelt's office and said "Roosevelt, Our brothers are dying! We've got to save them!". Roosevelt paused for a moment, then gazed deeply into the fireplace and replied "We will strike down upon thee with firebombs, napalm and nukes, those who attempt to poison and destroy our brothers. And you will know our name is Churchill and Roosevelt when we lay our firebombs upon you." [Pulp Fiction theme]
Churchill and Roosevelt agreeing to rescue the internet trolls.

Fearing that firebombs would RISK killing the trolls, a team of highly trained monkeys soldiers was parachuted down to rescue the trolls (and to kill Mecha-Hitler etc). You are part of that team.
Good luck, soldier. And remember: KILL 'EM ALL!!

Part 2
A Challenger Appears
Mario Stalin

Churchill and Roosevelt realized that they had completely forgot about Dre Mario Stalin.

forgot about Dre Mario Stalin.

Churchill and Roosevelt both shat brix when they got reports that Mario Stalin had set C&C waypoints to Berlin.
Mario Stalin sets a CnC rally point to Führerbunker, Berlin.

"Mario Stalin is going after Mecha-Hitler!", squealed Churchill, his legs weakening.. "History will remember Mario Stalin as the man who killed Mecha-Hitler and ended the war!" Churchill fell to the floor and began squealing again. Roosevelt pushed his wheelchair closer to Churchill, gazed at his greedy fat bloated capitalist pig face, and said while drooling: "Do not fear little piggy.. when Mario Stalin is busy raising his red flag over the Berlin ruins:

 , we will be nearby grabbing everything we can get our greedy hands on."
1945, New World Order.

"Besides, Church, how many history lessons do you think people remember anyway? Hm? Two? History students don't have an Old-Timers' Day. They came close, but they never made it, and if they were gonna make it they would have been arrested now since dissent is terrorism. And if there is one thing that the indie and mainstream entertainment industry has taught us, it's that our country has won every single war in history."
Roosevelt wiped the shit off his glasses and went on ranting: 

"Mario Stalin is also a gold-grabbing jew; if he continues his communist crusade, Earth will be sucked dry of coins and resources."
Communism: invading countries and stealing their coins. Jewish conspiracy much?

"It is therefore imperative that we conquer and capture as much of the cake from Mario Stalin as possible, even if that means sacrificing all our sock puppet soldiers in suicide mission at Normandy beach"
Everybody's rushing, gotta make it to the cake. Gotta make my mind up,
which piece can I take?

Church and FDR getting ready to start the colonialism of the cake.
"Nobody steals cake from a greedy power-hungry pig and lives!"
"And FDR said, Let there be War: and there was War. And FDR saw the War, and it was good."

Part 3
Steve Jobs [work in progress]

Part 4
Dr. Goldfire Goldstein [work in progress]

Mario Stalin image (9x1.png) courtesy of Doğan "leblebi" Kılınç.

I'm a troll. Because I'm a troll, I'm also an Artist (because trolling is an Art). Because I'm an Artist, I am licensed to kill create cool stories (artistic license ftw lulz).


Anonymous said...

Man this story is amazing, glad to see a great troll out there! Keep on the good work.

Anonymous said...

LMAO bro, what about evil Stalin and drunk USSR bears? (yeah, greetz from Russia!) :)


Anonymous said...

Hello from Hacker News. We are appalled at your racisms and will be calling the interpolice.